The world fell apart

Dear Girls,

Wow, it's been a minute. Sorry about that. While we slept, the world kind of fell apart.

Of course I'm talking about COVID-19, 2020, and what will probably be the most annoying year you'll have to hear about for the rest of your life (sweet lord I hope so).

And sorry most of all for not writing during it.

As you may know, Daddy is a bit of a perfectionist. Sometimes I self-destruct. Sometimes I can't be satisfied with okay - and sometimes the okay I'm satisfied with is pretty not okay. But when I sit here on the New Year, when I look at the year I've had with you, full of growth, challenge, change - in perspectives, goals, outlooks - I realize that some of the most precious things I can spend a few minutes doing, is writing it down.

I'm not going to pretend that the year I - oh, lost my job, lost my insurance, dealt with a plague, and becoming a stay at home dad, - shouldn't also have been the year of grace and rest. I know that I did what I needed to do by taking a break and not pushing myself. I gained the weight. I gained the stress. Mom read sixty books, and Dad took sixty naps (we all deal with things in our own way).

I wish I could say I wrote you more. I know Mom feels the same way.

But I'm writing now to say - sorry for the letters lost in the river of 2020. It wasn't my fault. But it was my responsibility. And here's to more letters in the future.

If at any point you feel vulnerable, weak, like you need to rest your head my only hope - my driving goal for this year for the next several is that if you need a year if you need a place to lay down and give in for a while to do the barest responsible things that you must to stay alive, that we have that place, that we are those people, that in all our arguments and rule breaking and personal hold ups that we all allow ourselves and each other to fall asleep in the safest place imaginable: home.

Sincerely,

Dad