"Obstinate, headstrong girl"

Dear Arlandria,

My dear, you are an obstinate and headstrong girl; and I wouldn't have it any other way.

This week was hard. We've had periods or days that were rough, but they were singular and quickly turned around. This week was different. I'm not sure if it because you are going through a developmental leap, or if it was because your sister was needing more of my time. Whatever the cause, we struggled, and we struggled together.



This week you woke up ready for battle, and unbeknownst to me, I was your opponent. This was new territory for me, because for the first year of your life I was your teammate. You and me against the world. But this week you pushed boundaries, you started hitting your sister, and you told me no over and over again. You are learning what frustrates me, and you do it to see my reaction. I see the look in your eye when you do things you know aren't allowed. You challenge me with a simple crinkle of your nose.

I realize that this is something that is natural. You want to push boundaries so you can see where the limits begin and end. You find security in routine and you thrive in structured environments. All this has made me stop and form a new game plan as I interact with you. I am learning to speak to you differently. I am respecting the times where you are overcome with emotion. I am giving you more love and affection when you need it. Your little world changed dramatically with Posie's arrival, and I respect that this is a hard transition for you.
I think in this stage of your life, I am learning that you are a person with feelings and emotions that require respect and attention--just like I do. In fact, you have demanded that from me again and again until I realized that I wasn't giving you what you needed. As I said before, you are obstinate and I hope that is something that never changes about you.
Too often I do not demand that my needs be met, and often let them go unattended to. I put myself last because so many other people need my time, attention, and care. But today I am taking a page from your book, and allowing myself the love and self-care that I've been needing. I took a break to do things I enjoy--like writing on this blog--and chose to not feel guilty that chores are piling up.
Little girl, I hope that you always demand the respect that you deserve. I hope that you continue to realize your worth and value in this life, and never let anyone treat you any less. You are a ray of sunshine even on the toughest of days, and I treasure every moment that I'm with you. I am glad I birthed a fighter, and I challenge you to continue fighting for what you want and need. I will always be your ally, even on the days I'm on the other side of the battlefield.

With all my love,
Your Mother